Auto-Immune Heresy ebook

I wrote Auto-Immune Heresy out of a need to speak. To give voice to an experience that has been mine, and is infinitely larger than me. I am speaking about sickness. Long-lived, recurrent, and entangled with the entire 21st century into which I was born.

Auto-Immune Heresy collects 8 years of writing about 20 years of chronic illness. This book project is a means of narrativizing my life.

It follows my thinking and feeling through the complexities of embodiment.

It recounts a mythopoetic account of chronic sickness and perpetual healing, bridging personal narrative, poetry, and essay. The project is first a memoir steeped in a 20 year personal history with the diagnosis of chronic immune thrombocytopenia, an uncommon autoimmune condition. Second, it weaves critiques of health/healthcare with notions of disability justice, in tandem with my personal reflections on living with blindness and being trans. These personal storylines are told against a backdrop of coming to terms with non-binarism, living a sacred life, and accepting the collapse of cultural narrative amidst the widespread denial of climate change, with the associated grief.

This project is one of inscribing questions rather than alleging answers. Making a hypersigil of healing from the false and harmful notions that shaped my body's systems. The story is foremost one of healing. Healing as a practice and process that is ongoing without end.

The principal actors in the narrative are my body, the patient (an abstraction of me), maman, the doctors, and the bloodstream extending beyond humanity. I believe it is a challenging book. It was difficult to write, and I regard it still as an imperfect offering. But it is what I have to give in this moment.

It follows my thinking and feeling through the complexities of embodiment. This project is one of inscribing questions rather than alleging answers. Making a hypersigil of healing from the false and harmful notions that shaped my body's systems. The story is foremost one of healing. Healing as a practice and process that is ongoing without end. The principal actors in the story are my body, the patient (an abstraction of me), maman, the doctors, and the bloodstream extending beyond humanity. My wish is that the story helps others feel seen. You and I are not alone.

The cover art sigil is by Meagan Chaput.

Read more about Laure: www.laure.love

TABLE OF CONTENTS

• Preface

• 1. Questions For A Blood Doctor

  • General Guidelines

  • A Chameleon Ethic

  • Total Hyphema and Childhood Glaucoma

  • Dreamt

  • I Reviewed This Nice Boy

  • Receiving A Dose

  • B-12 Adventures

  • A Visit To The Blood Doctor

  • Becoming Sick, Becoming Trans

  • Photophobia and Blind Gain

• 2. Sickness As A Way Of Life

  • You Matter

  • Digressions

  • 38.5 degrees centigrade

  • Sharing Air

  • A Little Golden Cat

  • Sympathie Sanguine

  • Longing for Heat

  • The Oncology Ward In The Sky

• 3. Patience

  • Taking Back My Body

  • Communion

  • Regressing Moves Forward

  • Reading Phaedrus

  • Vein To Vial

  • Sickness in Limbo

  • A Spring Spent Nannying

• 4. Surrender

  • Auto-Immune Manifesto

  • New Asceticism

  • Omnia mutantur

  • All Things Change

  • Smaller, still

  • At the end // À Suivre

• Selected Bibliography

• About Laure